he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
