hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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