You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
My brain says no but my pants say off.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Houston, we have a blender
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
