I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
