these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
