i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
