32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
