If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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