Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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