Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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