So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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