I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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