I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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