Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
