I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
