just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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