I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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