Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
