We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
