it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
