Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
