so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Randomize
