she was so not down for the gang bang
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
