lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
