They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
