I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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