I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
