You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
