Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
