elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
