Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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