ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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