the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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