it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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