I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
it hurts more in the daytime
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
