quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
