i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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