btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
