More tranny stories later!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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