but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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