dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
