So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
