Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
