Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize