Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
