I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
