You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
