i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
