her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
