We're facebook friends in real life
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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