I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
