There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
