I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
