Christians are straight up FREAKS
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
