8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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