last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
