Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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