dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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