I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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