Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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