Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
