I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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