Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
