I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I am one with the molecules
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize